GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! Now you wanna be free, so I’m letting you fly. ‘Cause I know in my heart babe, our love will never die. LET’S GO TO PRESS.
Did you catch last night’s Democratic debate? The TL;DR version: The candidates parried on topics such as health care, immigration, and foreign policy, Warren emerged unscathed (and by most scorecards came out on top), Sanders went after Biden (as did Castro), Harris stuck to her script (and zingers), and Biden clung to the coattails of Barack Obama and went on a weird, rambling monologue about record players.
Here’s the full transcript of the Biden “make sure the TV’s on” answer. Mind you this breathtaking spiral was in response to a question about his dismissal of historic racism and opposition to school desegregation, which he didn’t even try to address. pic.twitter.com/YGG9JylTYS
— David Sessions (@davidsess) September 13, 2019
Joe Biden looks like the kind of dude who goes fucking nuts when Sweet Caroline comes on at a wedding
— Tamara Yajia (@DancesWithTamis) September 13, 2019
Also during the debate, after candidate Beto O’Rourke said “Hell yes, we’re going to take your AR-15, your AK-47,” a Texas Republican tweeted/threatened, “My AR is ready for you” and now may get a visit from the FBI for his trouble.
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez clapped back at an ad that ABC ran during the debates from a Republican PAC that described AOC as “ignorant” and showed a picture of her face on fire and turning into a skull. Subtle!
A Washington Post poll reveals that an increasing number of Americans are realizing the magnitude of the climate crisis and that Trump is making it substantially worse.
How long until Mike Pence changes his name to Mike Pounce and declares Trumple is the first to pronounce it correctly?? #mikepounce https://t.co/FDcjnaJRJQ
— Liz Fiz (@AnythingButTheW) September 13, 2019
Headline of the day (so far): “Ivanka tells donors she got her moral compass from her dad.” YIKES YIKES YIKES
Democratic Rep. John Lewis has been one of the last anti-Trump holdouts not to call for impeachment—but he may be making an announcement to change all that.
Prime Minister Boris Johnson seemingly screwed up big time when he (according to a court) misled the public about Brexit and unlawfully advised the queen on the suspension of parliament.
This afternoon, actress Felicity Huffman will be the first of the college admission bribery scandal parents to be sentenced.
A warrant has been issued for singer R. Kelly after he failed to show up for a court appearance.
Eddie Money, the prolific singer and songwriter whose songs “Baby Hold On,” “Two Tickets to Paradise,” and “Take Me Home Tonight” soundtracked popular music in the 1980s, has died after being diagnosed with stage 4 esophageal cancer https://t.co/rhYcOr8zEK pic.twitter.com/2hsER2yP6V
— Variety (@Variety) September 13, 2019
SNL has picked its first Chinese American to join their cast… and oh. Also a white dude who has mocked Chinese Americans.
IN LOCAL NEWS: To the absolute surprise of no one, the Portland officer accused of sending chummy, protective texts to right-wing Patriot Prayer leader Joey Gibson has been exonerated by the city. Our Blair Stenvick has the details.
I am breaking my twitter hiatus to express my deep disappointment with how the City of Portland chose to scold journalists for sharing public information instead of admit that cops probably shouldn’t be helping violent activists avoid arrest. https://t.co/hibQA9o1pQ
— Alex Zielinski (@alex_zee) September 13, 2019
Is the current vape panic that’s overrunning the country got you nervous? Our Josh Jardine breaks down the facts and fictions behind Vapocalypse 2019!
WELCOME LOCAL WEREWOLVES: It’s Friday the 13th, and there will be a rare full harvest moon in the sky tonight.
ARE YOU HUNGRY? Then may I interest you in the Portland Mercury’s Chili Jamboree and Nacho Week? YOU LOOK LIKE YOU NEED A LAUGH. Get your tickets now for the Undisputable Geniuses of Comedy, coming at you on Sept 21! OH! AND YES, YOU DO LOOK SEXY! Tickets for HUMP! 2019 are right here.
And here’s a topic you’re interested in… THE WEATHER: Expect some early morning showers and a high of 73. And if you’ve got outdoor things to accomplish this weekend, my advice is to do it on Saturday!
And finally, had a tough week? These animals prescribe MORE SNACKS!